Frasi di Paullina Simons

pagina 2

“Ti dicono lui è mio e tu dici va bene, va bene, è tuo, certo, prendilo, niente è importante per me. Né me stessa, né il mio pane, né la mia vita, e neanche lui. Io combatto per niente.”

“Soldato, lascia che ti accarezzi il viso e baci le tue labbra, lasciami urlare attraverso i mari e sussurrare attraverso i prati ghiacciati della Russia quello che sento per te… Luga, Ladoga, Leningrado, Lazarevo… Alexander, un tempo tu mi hai portata e io ora porto te. Nella mia eternità ora io porto te. Attraverso la Finlandia, attraverso la Svezia, fino in America con le mani tese, mi ergerò e mi farò avanti, destriero nero che galoppa senza cavaliere nella notte. Il tuo cuore, il tuo fucile mi conforteranno, saranno la mia culla, la mia tomba. Lazarevo stilla il tuo essere nel mio cuore, goccia d'alba al chiaro di luna, goccia del fiume Kama. Quando mi cerchi, cercami là, perchè là sarò tutti i giorni della mia vita.”

“E non me lo hai nascosto. Niente affatto. Hai lasciato il tuo amore in bella mostra, non lo hai chiuso in un armadio. Marina aveva ragione. Ero cieca. Lo hai lasciato in mille posti perché io lo vedessi. Adesso li vedo tutti e mi fanno male. Ma tu eri una bambina. Come poteva una bambina amare qualcuno?”

“Non tremerò né indietreggerò, non abbasserò la testa. Troverò il modo di alzare gli occhi, di non lasciare entrare niente.
Eccetto te, Alexander.”

“«Tania…» sussurrò Alexander. «Non ti lascerò andare finché non ti avrò avuta abbastanza. Finché non mi avrai scaldato dentro e fuori».”

“Le mandò un bacio e sparì, senza guardare Tatiana. E lei sperava disperatamente in un ultimo, fuggevole sguardo. Nella semioscurità avrebbe voluto sentire i suoi occhi dolci su di sé, leggervi la verità che aveva appena negato. Ma lui non la guardò, Tatiana non poté leggere nessuna verità. Vide solo che l'aveva rifiutata.”

“Attraversa la strada. Seguila. E darà un senso alla tua esistenza.”

“Anthony Anthony… mi senti figliolo? Sei la mia vita e la vita di tua madre. Per me sarai sempre il bambino di 3 anni che gioca in cortile, che si taglia i capelli come i miei, che cammina come me, mi porta le coccinelle, mi riempie di gioia, mi tiene in vita. Ecco cosa vedo quando ti guardo. Ricordi quando pescavamo insieme, quando eri piccolo? Non hai idea di quanta felicità mi donassi. Mi hai sempre reso fiero da quando sei nato. Devi alzarti e seguirmi. Vedrai non mollerai, non tu. Ti rimetterai, ma alzati figliolo. Coraggio, alzati, Anthony.”

“I was blinded by stupidity for a brief moment in our life, for a flicker in the eternity in which you and I live, and I stumbled.”

“I don't want this life to end," said Alexander. "The good, the bad, the everything, the very old, to ever end.”

“I love you as much as it is possible for a man to love a woman.”

“The power you have over someone who loves you is greater than any other power you'll ever have.”

“Tania, last time in Morozovo, I let you go, but not this time. This time we live together or we die together.”

“But on that sunlit Sunday, Alexander knew nothing, thought nothing, imagined nothing. He forgot Dimitri and war and the Soviet Union and escape plans, and even America, and crossed the street for Tatiana Metanova.”

“Though much is taken, much abides; and though we are not now that strength which in old days moved
earth and heaven, that which we are, we are—
Unyielding.”

“If I can live through this, he thought, I can live through anything. If I can live through this, I WILL live through anything.”

“Lazarevo drips you into my soul, dawn drop by moonlight drop from the river Kama. When you look for me, look for me there, because that's where I'll be all the days of my life.”

“Tatiana, I love you. Do you hear me? I love you like I’ve never loved anyone in my whole life. Now, get up. For me, Tatia. For me, please get up and go take care of your sister. Go on. And I’ll take care of you.” His lips kissed her cheek.”

“This is days and days and months and years and all the minutes in between, just you me.”

“Alexander smoked and watched her from his tree stump bench. What are you doing? she would ask him.

Nothing, he would reply. Nothing but growing my pain into madness.”

“We’ll meet again in Lvov, my love and I…” Tatiana hums, eating her ice cream, in our Leningrad, in jasmine June, near Fontanka, the Neva, the Summer Garden, where we are forever young.”

“Please stop looking at me, she thought, afraid of his eyes and terrified of her own heart.”

“He is just protective over me-”
“Not protective, Tania. Consumed.”

“Alexander, my nights, my days, my every thought. You will fall away from me in just a while, won’t you, and I’ll be whole again, and I will go on and feel for someone else, the way everybody does.

But my innocence is gone forever.”

“Tatia: I think its too big to fit”

“Oh Alexander," she said, "what do you want from me…"
"Everything!" he whispered fiercely.”

“I know that sometimes the things we carry become too much for us. We are burned down, but somehow we have to pick ourselves up and keep going”

“Shura, I’m yours. You may not like it today, you may not want it tonight, you may wish for it all to be different now, but it remains, and I remain, as always, only yours. Nothing can change that. Not your wrath, your fists, your body or your death.”

“There will be only one standard, the standard of survival at all cost, and it will be up to you to say at what price survival. Hold your head high, and if you are going to go down, go down knowing you have not in any way compromised your soul.
Pulling him by the arm, Babushka said “That’s enough. Tania, you do whatever you have to do to survive, and damn your soul.””

“That’s the saddest loss of all, to go on for a few weeks, a few days, a night, a minute, and think everything is still all right when the structure you’ve built your life on has crumbled. We should have been mourning you, but instead we made plans, went to work, dreamed, loved, not knowing you were already behind us.”

“Alexander, were you looking for me?”

“(Tatiana nervously looked down at the present.)
"Thank you".
Gifts were not something she was used to. Wrapped gifts? Unheard of, even when they came wrapped only in plain brown paper.
"No. Open first. Then say thank you."
She smiled.
"What do I do? Do I take the paper off?"
"Yes. You tear it off."
"And then what?"
"And then you throw it away."
"The whole present or just the paper?" Slowly he said, "Just the paper."
"and but you wrapped it so nicely. Why would I throw it away?"
"It’s just paper."”