Frasi di Stephen Leacock

„L'astronomia insegna l'uso corretto dei soli e dei pianeti.“

—  Stephen Leacock

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„I crimini sono creati dal parlamento; perché c'è bisogno di un poliziotto per fare un criminale. Non si diventa criminali infrangendo la legge, ma standoci lontano.“

—  Stephen Leacock

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„L'elettricità è di due tipi, positiva e negativa. La differenza, è, presumo, che una sia un po' più costosa, ma più durevole; l'altra più a buon mercato, ma ci entrano le tarme.“

—  Stephen Leacock

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„Sullo stesso conto e sulla stessa parte di questo non ci dovrebbero essere due prezzi per la stessa cosa.“

—  Stephen Leacock

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„Naturalmente, l'idea generale di una lavanderia eccellente è che nessuna camicia o colletto torni mai indietro due volte.“

—  Stephen Leacock

„Detesto gli assicuratori: non fanno altro che sostenere che un giorno morirò, e non è così.“

—  Stephen Leacock

„La pubblicità si può descrivere come la scienza di fermare l'intelligenza umana per il tempo necessario a spillarle quattrini.“

—  Stephen Leacock

Origine: Citato in Gino e Michele, Matteo Molinari, Le Formiche: anno terzo, Zelig Editore, 1995, § 1957.

„Advertising - A judicious mixture of flattery and threats.“

—  Stephen Leacock

„Lord Ronald said nothing; he flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.“

—  Stephen Leacock

"Gertrude the Governess", Nonsense Novels (1911)

„I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it“

—  Stephen Leacock

„The Lord said "Let there be wheat" and Saskatchewan was born.“

—  Stephen Leacock

My Discovery of America (1937)

„With the thermometer at 30 below zero and the wind behind him, a man walking on Main Street in Winnipeg knows which side of him is which.“

—  Stephen Leacock

My Discovery of the West (1937)j

„You frequently ask, where are the friends of your childhood, and urge that they shall be brought back to you. As far as I am able to learn, those of your friends who are not in jail are still right there in your native village. You point out that they were wont to share your gambols, If so, you are certainly entitled to have theirs now.“

—  Stephen Leacock, Literary Lapses

The Poet Answered
Literary Lapses (1910)

„Of course, Pupkin would never have thought of considering himself on an intellectual par with Mallory Tompkins. That would have been ridiculous. Mallory Tompkins had read all sorts of things and had half a mind to write a novel himself—either that or a play. All he needed, he said, was to have a chance to get away somewhere by himself and think. Every time he went away to the city Pupkin expected that he might return with the novel all finished; but though he often came back with his eyes red from thinking, the novel as yet remained incomplete.“

—  Stephen Leacock, libro Sunshine Sketches of a Little Town

Sunshine Sketches of a Little Town (1912)

„It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.“

—  Stephen Leacock, Literary Lapses

Reflections on Riding
Literary Lapses (1910)

„You know, many a man realizes late in life that if when he was a boy he had known what he knows now, instead of being what he is he might be what he won't; but how few boys stop to think that if they knew what they don't know instead of being what they will be, they wouldn't be?“

—  Stephen Leacock, Literary Lapses

How to Make a Million Dollars
Literary Lapses (1910)

„My parents migrated to Canada in 1876, and I decided to go with them.“

—  Stephen Leacock, libro Sunshine Sketches of a Little Town

On leaving England at age seven.
Sunshine Sketches of a Little Town (1912)

„I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.“

—  Stephen Leacock, Literary Lapses

Insurance up to Date
Literary Lapses (1910)

„Many of my friends are under the impression that I write these humorous nothings in idle moments when the wearied brain is unable to perform the serious labours of the economist. My own experience is exactly the other way. The writing of solid, instructive stuff fortified by facts and figures is easy enough. There is no trouble in writing a scientific treatise on the folk-lore of Central China, or a statistical enquiry into the declining population of Prince Edward Island. But to write something out of one's own mind, worth reading for its own sake, is an arduous contrivance only to be achieved in fortunate moments, few and far between. Personally, I would sooner have written "Alice in Wonderland" than the whole Encyclopaedia Britannica.“

—  Stephen Leacock, libro Sunshine Sketches of a Little Town

Preface
Sunshine Sketches of a Little Town (1912)