Frasi di Jean Vanier

“L'Amore non è fare cose straordinarie o eroiche, ma fare cose ordinarie con tenerezza.”

“Meglio sapere chi siamo realmente, conoscere le tenebre che ci abitano, accettarle e affrontarle, piuttosto che pretendere che non esistano e organizzare la vita in modo tale che le tenebre restino nascoste. In questo modo non faranno altro che aggravarsi e governeranno la nostra vita a livello inconscio fino a quando, forse, riappariranno sotto un'altra forma.”

“Non si può crescere interiormente se non ci si impegna con altri ed accanto ad altri.”

“Bisogna amare le persone nella loro depressione. È il modo migliore per aiutarli ad uscirne. Quindi, la prima cosa da fare per aiutare una persona è iniziare a cambiare noi stessi.”

“La resurrezione è iniziata quando ciò che era di più orrendo diventa sorgente di grazia.”

“La pedagogia profonda dell'Arca, sta proprio qui: dire alle persone "Sono molto contento di vivere con te!"”

“In una comunità ciò che conta sono le persone e la loro crescita, più che le leggi ed i regolamenti.”

“La comunità è il luogo dove sono rivelati i limiti, le paure e l'egoismo di una persona.”

“Una persona depressa è ciò che chiamerei un "handicappato dell'affanno". La depressione è una malattia dell'affanno, dell'energia.”

“Abbiamo sperimentato che se prestiamo attenzione alle necessità più profonde delle persone con handicap possiamo vedere il loro desiderio di comunione al momento dell'Eucaristia.”

“Diventare amico di qualcuno che è stato rifiutato ci trasforma.”

“Oggi vorrei dire grazie anche a Teresa. Curiosamente io non la vedo come una grande santa. La vedo come povera, allo stesso tempo molto bella e molto fragile e angosciata. Da questa sua debolezza è scaturita la fiducia. Per me è qui il mistero e la bellezza di Teresa. Ed io l'amo come povera ed ho bisogno di lei come povera.”

“Con la nostra capacità di amare sono risvegliate anche la nostra vulnerabilità e sensibilità più profonda.”

“L'amore è dolce e bello ma può essere accompagnato da una terribile paura: la paura dell'avvenire e del rischio di andare troppo oltre, la paura che il tutto conduca soltanto alla morte della nostra cosiddetta libertà, la paura di essere feriti, perché amare significa diventare vulnerabili. Amare è sempre un rischio.”

“In ognuno di noi c'è una profonda ferita d'amore, un grido per essere considerato, apprezzato e guardato come unico ed importante.”

“Quando una comunità non è altro che un luogo di lavoro è in pericolo.”

“Lasciar cader i propri muri interiori, qui sta tutta la vita cristiana.”

“La Chiesa non ha assolutamente bisogno di essere protetta, difesa. È la Chiesa di Gesù.”

“L'importante non è trovare soluzioni a tutti i problemi ma creare legami e scoprire che questo legame mi cambia e mi apre.”

“I più deboli nella Chiesa, i meno presentabili e quelli che nascondiamo sono indispensabili per la Chiesa e devono essere onorati.”

“Finché si era soli si poteva credere di amare tutti quanti.”

“L'essere umano è nato piccolo e morirà piccolo. Siamo noi pronti ad accogliere la nostra fragilità come essa è veramente?”

“Si ha l'impressione, in questo mondo, di non esistere se non si riesce. Ma il fondo dell'essere umano è la relazione.”

“I poveri, con il grido che lanciano per intavolare relazioni, ci danno fastidio. Se li ascoltiamo, risvegliano il nostro cuore e la nostra mente affinché formiamo insieme la Chiesa, il corpo di Cristo, fonte di compassione, bontà e perdono per tutti gli esseri umani.”

“Se si pongono questi valori unicamente nella riuscita, nella forza, etc, si sta trascurando una parte di se stessi, una parte che è il bambino, che è la donna più fragile, che è una persona vulnerabile.”

“Sono coloro che sono stati rifiutati a farci entrare in un incontro con Dio.”

“In ogni persona c'è qualcosa dell'infinito, qualcosa di molto bello, di universale. Poi, si scopre anche un Dio vulnerabile e debole.”

“Quando tocchiamo le nostre tenebre – così profonde, così terribili – ci vergogniamo talmente da voler fuggire.”

“The great thing about people with intellectual disabilities is that they’re not people who discuss philosophy… What they want is fun and laughter, to do things together and fool around, and laughter is at the heart of community.”

“Somewhere, the deepest desire for us all is to be appreciated, to be loved, to be seen as somebody of value. But not just seen — and Aristotle makes a difference between being admired and being loved. When you admire people, you put them on pedestals. When you love people, you want to be together. So really, the first meeting I had with people with disabilities, what touched me was their cry for relationship.”

“I am struck by how sharing our weakness and difficulties is more nourishing to others than sharing our qualities and successes.”

“Every child, every person needs to know that they are a source of joy; every child, every person, needs to be celebrated. Only when all of our weaknesses are accepted as part of our humanity can our negative, broken self-images be transformed.”

“If we are to grow in love, the prisons of our egoism must be unlocked. This implies suffering, constant effort and repeated choices.”

“When we love and respect people, revealing to them their value, they can begin to come out from behind the walls that protect them.”

“People cannot accept their own evil if they do not at the same time feel loved, respected and trusted.”

“When children are loved, they live off trust; their bides and hearts open up to those who respect and love them, who understand and listen to them.”

“Peace can only come as people begin to meet each other. Those that do have the courage to cross the road, however, to look kindly at people and to listen to them with tenderness, will find people much like themselves, people seeking to be loved for who they are. And that it is OK for each one of us to admit, "I don't have all the truth…. I am vulnerable, I am broken. I need help." Then comes the realization, "I need your help. I need your friendship." In the end, what you will find, and what you will help the world to discover, Vanier said, is what it means to be human.”

“Love is to recognize that the other person is a person, is precious, is important and has value.. Each one has a gift to bring to others. Each one has his or her mission in the larger family of humanity. Each one reveals the secret face of God.”

“Try and find somebody who is lonely. And when you go to see them, they will see you as the messiah. Go and visit a little old lady who has no friends or family. Bring her flowers. People say ‘but that’s nothing.’ It is nothing—but it’s also everything. It always begins with small little things. It all began in Bethlehem. That was pretty small.”

“Community means caring: caring for people. Dietrich Bonhoeffer says: "He who loves community destroys community; he who loves the brethren builds community." A community is not an abstract ideal. We are not striving for perfect community. Community is not an ideal; it is people. It is you and I. In community we are called to love people just as they are with their wounds and their gifts, not as we would want them to be. Community means giving them space, helping them to grow. It means also receiving from them so that we too can grow. It is giving each other freedom; it is giving each other trust; it is confirming but also challenging each other. We give dignity to each other by the way we listen to each other, in a spirit of trust and of dying to oneself so that the other may live, grow and give.”

“To be lonely is to feel unwanted and unloved, and therefor unloveable. Loneliness is a taste of death. No wonder some people who are desperately lonely lose themselves in mental illness or violence to forget the inner pain.”

“We are not called by God to do extraordinary things, but to do ordinary things with extraordinary love.”

“Many people are good at talking about what they are doing, but in fact do little. Others do a lot but don't talk about it; they are the ones who make a community live.”

“Community is a sign that love is possible in a materialistic world where people so often either ignore or fight each other. It is a sign that we don't need a lot of money to be happy--in fact, the opposite.”

“Love doesn't mean doing extraordinary or heroic things. It means knowing how to do ordinary things with tenderness.”

“Growth begins when we start to accept our own weakness”

“Jesus is the starving, the parched, the prisoner, the stranger, the naked, the sick, the dying. Jesus is the oppressed, the poor. To live with Jesus is to live with the poor. To live with the poor is to live with Jesus.”

“Peace is the fruit of love, a love that is also justice. But to grow in love requires work -- hard work. And it can bring pain because it implies loss -- loss of the certitudes, comforts, and hurts that shelter and define us.”

“A Christian community should do as Jesus did: propose and not impose. Its attraction must lie in the radiance cast by the love of brothers.”

“It is only when we stand up, with all our failings and sufferings, and try to support others rather than withdraw into ourselves, that we can fully live the life of community.”

“All of us have a secret desire to be seen as saints, heroes, martyrs. We are afraid to be children, to be ourselves.”

“Every human activity can be put at the service of the divine and of love. We should all exercise our gift to build community.”

“A growing community must integrate three elements: a life of silent prayer, a life of service and above all of listening to the poor, and a community life through which all its members can grow in their own gift.”

“But let us not put our sights too high. We do not have to be saviours of the world! We are simply human beings, enfolded in weakness and in hope, called together to change our world one heart at a time. (163)”

“I have discovered the value of psychology and psychiatry, that their teachings can undo knots in us and permit life to flow again and aid us in becoming more truly human.”

“There is that little compass within each one of us where we know what is right, what is just, what is good, what is true.”

“To look forward, to want life, means we have to be willing to look backwards and become more conscious of all those who have hurt us, all that is broken in us and that has brought us inner deaths, hurts that we may have hidden and stifled. It means that we acknowledge the story of our origins, of our own lives, see and accept our brokenness and the times we also have hurt others. When we have accepted who we are and what we need in order to grow in compassion and peacemaking, we can move forward to give life. To forgive is a gift of God that permits us to let go of our past hurts.”